The Hollywood Vampires – A day without disaster

Written by on July 5, 2018

With multiple people arriving in London from different locations at different time and staying in different places this was a day trip that was rife with disastrous possibility. Someone getting lost, missed texts, delays and cancelled trains are things that can and will fuck up your day without notice and with spectacular regularity.

The Mosh Fairy arrived first, early in the morning and set himself up in a pub just outside of Kings Cross to get our day started. He had been in Manchester the night before for the Foo Fighters, a band he is not a fan of, and was into the second day of gig goodness. Uncle Rock and Blind Fury were coming from the same gig but later on. They had been on the road longer than either of them could figure out when I asked them later, taking in Pearl Jam, Stone Free Festival, Foo Fighters, coming down to London for the Hollywood Vampires gig and then back north for a day at the cricket in Durham. There may have been other days included in this, I know they were in Boston recently. Admittedly June has been a ridiculous month for these two.

I was arriving reasonably fresh, if skint, having just been trying to find work and watching the world cup so I was looking forward to the break.

The beers that I had gotten into on the train were well received by me but not by at least one person near to me. The woman, who looked like Rod Stewart’s Grandma, same hair, tan, wrinkles etc, took exception to the first beer being opened “it’s only 10 o clock” in fairness I waited as long as I could. Why am I drinking madam? I have to be around people like you in an enclosed space. This is the quiet coach, shhhhh. She continued to glare at me for the rest of the journey, adding extra fun to the prolonged eye contact which accompanied the opening of each subsequent lovely beverage.

Any trip to the capital is accompanied by some such form of disagreement, often unsolicited and usually before I have reached a point in the drinking day when exception should in fact be taken, i.e. the Motley Crue incident. However in this case I got it out of the way early and we were able to move on.

Collecting the Mosh Fairy from the pub was a simple enough prospect, the almost crippling hay fever that he was suffering from excepted, and we were off to Wembley and the, not unfounded, concern of staying in bargain basement digs. Finding somewhere cheap to stay in London is difficult, finding somewhere on short notice is not to be attempted by the faint of heart and doing it on a gig night is nigh impossible. As a result we were not hopeful of the room we had booked for £50 near to the venue.

As it turns out this was to be the best stroke of luck we had over the course of the entire day. The Green Man pub just up the hill (deliberately vague, this is our place dammit don’t over crowd it) from the Wembley Arena was a decent place to sleep. For once we had more beds than were required (the Mosh Fairy has a habit of trying to double up with me) and you could see something other than a wall out of the windows, indeed you could see grass, unheard of in London as far as I was concerned. The room being above a pub was also a bonus. A pub where mosh pit law ruled was even better – have fun, don’t be an arsehole.

Pub based activities began and Rock and Fury arrived shortly afterwards having dropped their cases at their own, rather more expensive place of lodging. Taking in the rare London beer garden, actually placed in a garden we began what will be the first of many podcasts. The editing of which may take a while as I try to navigate the UK’s lack of free speech laws. Try to have a conversation with anyone and then have to edit out everything that has even the slightest possibility of offending anyone, not easy and I may just abandon the editing altogether and let the chips fall where they may.

In preparation for trips such as these I am always on the look out for the possibility of mischief and in sauntering past Anne Summers one day spotted a rather fetching Christmas themed mankini, complete with jingle bells. A bargain for the £2 price tag. This was bought immediately with the purpose of wearing around the hotel room and annoying the mosh fairy in a similar manner to that which had been achieved in New York. This plan changed somewhat during recording and one of the barstaff was quickly apprised of the situation and was very much in favour of me parading around the pub in such costume as long as she could take pictures on her phone. Another bonus to the Green Man, the ability to put up with DBM mischief and Boy based nudity, partial or otherwise.

Mosh fairy got his own ideas of added hilarity when the mankini was revealed and decided to provide an epic wedgie with simply resulted in the snapping of the flimsy garment and a brief bout of public indecency. Any photos taken in the offending garment now feature an amused looking uncle Rock, his role in life now being to hold the damned thing in place so the pictures can be shared on social media without reprisal.

And so it was, a perfectly pleasant afternoon with minimal incident that led up to a tremendous gig. Proof that we can accomplish these things without losing all memory of the spectacle we were there to witness. Alice Cooper reaffirmed his place as one of the world’s best front men, which was no small feat having followed Justin Hawkins of The Darkness. The gig review is available here.


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