Tainted Love – Marilyn Manson Halloween Merch

Written by on October 19, 2018

There is something quite wonderful about Halloween, perhaps it’s all of the Christmas decorations that go up in town three weeks before it. Fuck that unholy noise. I am not a huge fan of Halloween but something must be done to destroy that retail tradition that serves only to remind me that no matter how much I want to like Christmas by the time it comes around I want it to die in a fire.

Luckily there is finally something that will cure that feeling and bring you back into the Halloween spirit with a raging vengeance. Just in time for Halloween Marilyn Manson has released a dildo with his face on it from his online merch store. We all have at least one rocker in our lives that is notoriously difficult to buy for, well the worrying is over.

For the bargain sum of $125 you get a modest 8 inch black dildo sporting the bemused mug of Manson himself. If you can’t think of someone off hand who has not wanted to sit on his face then you are not living life right.

The website describes the gothic member as:

“The Double Cross Marilyn Manson Dildo + Bag includes a soft, lifelike, Marilyn Manson dildo and velvet double cross logo bag for easy and discreet storage.”

The description of soft and lifelike raises more questions than answers but it is best not to dwell on these for too long. We are reassured that “the paint on Marilyn Manson’s face is environmentally safe” (phew). However we should all be aware that this “May fade with multiple uses” …. Don’t we all?

Surely this has been the merchandise line that has been missing from the arsenal of so many bands up to now, surely these are the going to be the newest ‘must have’ for any self respecting metal act, though the Slipknot ones may need a bit of consideration.

Marilyn Manson Double Cross Dildo and bag can be found here

 

 

 

 

 

 


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